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  • rachelforsterwrigh

Sorry, the medicine you need to live is out of stock.

Updated: Jun 13

This evening I found myself diving headfirst into the world of cheap flights to Spain, where you can conveniently pick up HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) over the counter. But, no luck finding a flight that won't break my tight budget. So, I've switched gears to the relentless pursuit of online pharmacies stocking that specific brand of estrogen that my body insists on. It’s been a wild ride, experimenting with various generic substitutes, but it’s like my body’s saying, “Give me the good stuff or nothing!”

I’m down to five weeks of supply, with no signs of the supply issues letting up. The grim reality of the situation sunk in when I saw the price tag on a single box of Estradot at an online pharmacy – a staggering £40 for just eight patches, which barely covers a week of what I need. As I started doing the mental maths, I found myself tearing up at the hopelessness and injustice of it all. That’s when I started writing this post.

This struggle isn’t just about me; it highlights a larger issue that makes menopausal healthcare feel profoundly unjust. Think about those fancy Harley Street clinics, demanding £250 for a consultation and another £60 for a prescription, confidently reporting over the phone that "oh of course we have plenty of Estradot in stock!" It’s a system that seems to favour the privileged, leaving the rest of us behind.

Just the fact that I have been able to get this far along is a sign of the unfair system. My parents paid for my private care and ultimately my surgery. Without this privilege, I wouldn’t have had any hope of recovery.

I don’t claim to have some groundbreaking solution; I’m just tired, frustrated, and worried about my health’s future. The uncertainty of medication availability is dehumanising and bloody stressful. Without HRT, daily life becomes an overwhelming challenge. If I can’t work, I can’t support myself, or afford the increasingly pricey medicine I need to function.


Look at the bleak trajectory of the NHS in the UK; it’s affecting so many of us who rely on medications to stay alive. My situation isn’t unique; replace HRT with ADHD medication or any other essential treatment, and the sentiment holds true.

Relying on a little adhesive patch to keep me well is pretty terrifying, especially when I have no control over when the next one might arrive.

My hope? Well, I’m hoping that someone out there, in a similar boat, reads this and realises they’re not alone. It’s a little easier to deal with this when you know you’ve got company at the pity party.

Understanding the Struggle

As a therapist, I deeply understand the struggle of managing chronic health issues and medication supply problems. My frustration with not being able to secure HRT for surgical menopause is a testament to the broader challenges many face with chronic conditions. Whether it’s the necessity of HRT to manage symptoms of surgical menopause or other critical medications, the stress of not knowing if you’ll have what you need is overwhelming.

The Impact on Mental Health

This ongoing uncertainty affects mental health significantly. Stress, anxiety, and feelings of helplessness can become overwhelming when you’re constantly worried about your next dose. It’s a dehumanising experience, reducing your life to a frantic search for the medications that keep you functioning.

Seeking Support

If you’re going through something similar, know that you’re not alone. The struggle to access necessary medication is a shared experience for many. Reaching out to support groups, talking to others who understand your situation, and seeking professional help can provide some relief.

Moving Forward

While I don’t have all the answers, I’m committed to raising awareness about these issues and supporting others facing similar challenges. If you’re dealing with medication supply issues or managing a chronic health condition, consider reaching out. Sharing our stories and frustrations can help us feel less isolated and more understood.

Remember, it’s okay to be frustrated, tired, and worried. These feelings are valid, and together, we can navigate these challenges with a bit more strength and solidarity.



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